Sunday.
Another day.
Not much thing actually.
Woke up and used lappy. Did some ironing of clothes and carried on using my lappy. Played neopets lo, getting back to the game out of boredom again, ok la, not a bad game to play, lolx. Hais, ATM gana confiscated since Friday, hate it, hate it, I dint spent that much ok, hais, I shall skip some meals to save money bahx. ENDURE! Whatever.
Cold war with Dad, like everytime? Aiya, he got nothing nice to say de la, can even chat or talk nicely with him. I really cant control myself, everytime I reply him or talk to him, my voice became so, like with anger inside de, I dont know why, sorry, my bad, but, you are always saying me, since when you ever happy with what I do? NEVER! Even if I did the right things, they are always being overlooked and bad things can only "catch your attention". Alright, fine, others people kids are better, well, why not just abandon me and ask them to be your kid so that you wont have to suffer so much. You are simply bringing me up for the sake of bringing me up and not because its a responsibility that you had brought me to this world. WTF? Its so unreasonable, you are responsible for bring me to this world, no parent will bring their kids up just to wait for them to pay back to them, frk, what a weird way of thinking. Seriously. Wth la.
Nevermind, I got used to all this, trying to be a bad kid sometimes, not that I want, I got no choice. You dont care then why should I. I tried, I had made effort to make you feel loved but you say we are not caring for you. So, tell me, what the hell do you want from us, you are simply being unreasonable. Not that we want to go against you, you forced us to. Stop thinking that you are the one doing most of the thing and sacrifising, come on, we got our things to do ok, we are all stress too, stop asking us to do everything in your way. Everyone got their own way of thinking. And ya, shit you, stop saying I am turning into a bad kid like my sis, frk it, how many times must I repeat myself? Do you behave like your brothers that you always complain to us about? My friends, I know they are good ones, I am old enough to know how to choose my friends, I dont need you to judge them. What is wrong with chatting with my friends outside anyways, you say we are hanging out like bad kids, frk it, just chatting, I got no rights to chat? I wont make my life so boring like yours, sorry, you say you can just go Coffeeshop when you are free to chat and relax too, why not? Its your choice, we dint force you, other adults are always like that what, why are you demanding and complaining so bloody much. Hais, I dont understand.
Sometimes I really wander, if mum is still around, if sisters are still leaving with us, will it be more happier?
But one things I know clearly is, I dont like being at home now. Home is just a place for live in, no more warmth. What I do when you are at home is to use my lappy, isolate myself away from you, shut myself away from all your sickening complains, thanks to you, I think my attitude is becoming worse, too much stress too much frustrating, no love, no care, no one to share at home.
The only thing I love now is being with my friends, going for trainings. At least, I can behave as myself freely, not so tensed up, more relaxed. If not, I can really die at home, thoughts of jumping down often come to my mind, if theres no me, then you dont have to worry so much anymore. But of cause, I wont just give up my life just like that, not that foolish though. Theres too many things I want to do, to try, to gain. Too many. I need longer life. Maybe, happier too?
Ok. I shall stop all this. So much so of those, I wander if it will ever get any better. I give up totally to solve this, totally give up. I shall just live my own life.
Sorry. So much unpleasant stuff.
Another day.
Not much thing actually.
Woke up and used lappy. Did some ironing of clothes and carried on using my lappy. Played neopets lo, getting back to the game out of boredom again, ok la, not a bad game to play, lolx. Hais, ATM gana confiscated since Friday, hate it, hate it, I dint spent that much ok, hais, I shall skip some meals to save money bahx. ENDURE! Whatever.
Cold war with Dad, like everytime? Aiya, he got nothing nice to say de la, can even chat or talk nicely with him. I really cant control myself, everytime I reply him or talk to him, my voice became so, like with anger inside de, I dont know why, sorry, my bad, but, you are always saying me, since when you ever happy with what I do? NEVER! Even if I did the right things, they are always being overlooked and bad things can only "catch your attention". Alright, fine, others people kids are better, well, why not just abandon me and ask them to be your kid so that you wont have to suffer so much. You are simply bringing me up for the sake of bringing me up and not because its a responsibility that you had brought me to this world. WTF? Its so unreasonable, you are responsible for bring me to this world, no parent will bring their kids up just to wait for them to pay back to them, frk, what a weird way of thinking. Seriously. Wth la.
Nevermind, I got used to all this, trying to be a bad kid sometimes, not that I want, I got no choice. You dont care then why should I. I tried, I had made effort to make you feel loved but you say we are not caring for you. So, tell me, what the hell do you want from us, you are simply being unreasonable. Not that we want to go against you, you forced us to. Stop thinking that you are the one doing most of the thing and sacrifising, come on, we got our things to do ok, we are all stress too, stop asking us to do everything in your way. Everyone got their own way of thinking. And ya, shit you, stop saying I am turning into a bad kid like my sis, frk it, how many times must I repeat myself? Do you behave like your brothers that you always complain to us about? My friends, I know they are good ones, I am old enough to know how to choose my friends, I dont need you to judge them. What is wrong with chatting with my friends outside anyways, you say we are hanging out like bad kids, frk it, just chatting, I got no rights to chat? I wont make my life so boring like yours, sorry, you say you can just go Coffeeshop when you are free to chat and relax too, why not? Its your choice, we dint force you, other adults are always like that what, why are you demanding and complaining so bloody much. Hais, I dont understand.
Sometimes I really wander, if mum is still around, if sisters are still leaving with us, will it be more happier?
But one things I know clearly is, I dont like being at home now. Home is just a place for live in, no more warmth. What I do when you are at home is to use my lappy, isolate myself away from you, shut myself away from all your sickening complains, thanks to you, I think my attitude is becoming worse, too much stress too much frustrating, no love, no care, no one to share at home.
The only thing I love now is being with my friends, going for trainings. At least, I can behave as myself freely, not so tensed up, more relaxed. If not, I can really die at home, thoughts of jumping down often come to my mind, if theres no me, then you dont have to worry so much anymore. But of cause, I wont just give up my life just like that, not that foolish though. Theres too many things I want to do, to try, to gain. Too many. I need longer life. Maybe, happier too?
Ok. I shall stop all this. So much so of those, I wander if it will ever get any better. I give up totally to solve this, totally give up. I shall just live my own life.
Sorry. So much unpleasant stuff.
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