Morning woke up early as usual. Decided not to go school, I go ELTech to attend though but I think studying for the test in the afternoon was more important so I stayed at home to chiong.
Hais, chiong? Did I say chiong? Did I do that?
Hais, I dint lo, feel so shitty la, so much time for me to study yet I sat down in-front of computer, did some memorising of notes, looked through some slides, then I began to slack, day-dream, stone, emo...
What is wrong with my freaking attitude, wah lao, I cant stand myself, why cant I concentrate in studying, why cant my damn brain take in all the stuff, nothing seem to go in, its ok hard.
Received a sms from Mei Yi asking me whether I going ELTech anot, replied her I not going. Oh, she say got EngMec today as lecturer say we need to go back for revision on the last week before Study Week, hmmm, I thought for quite a while, then, decided not to go, go also dont know anything. Thus, I stayed at home till 2+pm then left for AMTL Test which was at 3pm. Addy called earlier saying she not going EngMec, lolx, I never go too, go then sian diao liaox.
LRT then bus lo.
Studied and half-slept on bus. WTH MAN! While I was alighting from the bus, stupid busdriver closed the door too fast la, DAMN IT, I tio hit abit lo, IDIOT LA, bloody no brain de lehx, so eager to drive off meh, damn it la. That was one angry issue, damn unlucky, argh. After that while I was walking, I was thinking if I would score badly for my test anot since I was so unlucky, hais. Rushed to Blk 50 for test, was very far lo, up the hill and the weather was so hot, sianx, so tired la. On the way saw ST running for test, =.=", so gan jiong, lolx. Almost reaching Blk 50, saw Latiff too, took lift up and did some last minute revision, I was prespiring like mad, =.=", stupid weather, stupid hill.
Entered the room, almost the whole K1K2 there liaox. Sat down at front row, lazy move back lo, lolx. Study study then waited for lecturer to give us the test paper. Got the paper then do lo. Sian la, the MCQ all I not very sure, hais. Structure questions were alright, all the questions that he gave us for revision that time came out la, piang, should have had concentrated on that, hais, but I roughly know the answers la so ok lo. The "cloze passage" was, hais, pathetic la, I looked through that part while on the bus but cant really recall =.=" anyhow right lo, sianx. Others all ok bahx, AHH, I think I mixed up the alloys and the plastic questions, hais, want to cry liaox. Checked and stoned, waited for him to come collect lo. Collected, stoned for a while, got up and left with the rest.
I dint talk much today with classmates, felt so anti-social sia, sianx. How can I change for the better? Hmm, dont know lehx. Dont know my classmates will find me boring or very 'dao' anot, hmmm....... hope not. Stood at Atrium there for quite sometime before we parted, Addy, Clari and Latiff went front busstop, Mei Yi and Joyce went library then me walked alone to Shell busstop. Not that I hate, maybe today abit moody bahx, needed some company, lolx. Nvm, I am good at being a lonely, zzz, whatever. Oh, saw Senior Vanesa, Cheryl and Phin sitting beside the pool there while I was walking pass Canteen 2, they must be having self-training today bahx, yupx.
Sianx, while walking, saw one 67 came =.=" I waited quite long for the next one, sian diaox. Boarded the bus, so sleepy lo. Alighted at CCK Int, bought dinner at 24hrs Coffeeshop and walked home, bubbletea too, Peppermint Milktea, long since I last drank that liaox.
Back at home, ate, watched tv programs and used lappy.
Till 7+pm, I got up, decided to warm-up for run. Changed, did DB warm up. Yupx, happy that I managed to do 100 pumps, was struggling through though, I still cant do pumps, hais, still as weak as before though I had gain quite abit muscles, I think I gained body fats too, ate too much le la. Then did crunches, 100 as too long never do le so feel like doing more, double the usuals. Packed some stuff, put on my shoes and there I went.
I started off quite slow today because I scare like on last week, I started off fast and I died at the end, real bad. Today run was good, I felt good, mainly because I wasnt speeding alot bahx, only for upslope that I went speeding up abit, thats what we do for trainings, "upslope SpeedUP", seniors alway say that, yupx, then "downslope Control Your Breather". Another thing that kept me going was one man bahx, he was running also, for the 1st part in-front of me then he crossed over to the other side and I was running just opposite him, to keep myself going on, I aimed for him lo, if not 1 person run very hard to get the motivation to carry on, need alot of "self-encouragements" which are quite tiring la, running very tired liaox, lol. After that at the temple there, we turned to different path, from there on, I was on my own. It wasnt that bad though, self-motivation lo, training my endurance too. Oh, I ran the longer path today which was quite a achievement for me bahx, 2nd time to complete that pathe, 1st time was running with YoYo then now myself. Hmm, managed to sprint abit while I was reaching home, maybe I was saving up energy half-way for this bahx, I got the power to go on, not good though, I should just use all my might and go for it. Hais, the bad thing was, my knees was quite pain while I was completing 3/4 of the route, not a good sign, no good, hais, not 1, but both, hais.
I shall train my stamina now then slower increase the speed till the I can "RUN" the whole route. Its a aim, a target that I must and I want to achieve, good luck to myself, lol.
Came home, exhausted lo. Walked here walked there to cool down. Bathe after that. Sat down and watch tv program lo. After that used lappy. Oh, I edited a photo. Actually not edit la, I just put all the photos together as one. A very meaningful one. This...
My whole journey in SVC since 2005 till now. From Participant to TF to Committee. Taking up different role allow me to get in touch in different matters, learnt different things too. Dont know why, after looking at these photos, I want to cry lo, =.=" Putting too much emotions in it le bahx. I miss the moments, especially last year as a TF, a real challenge for me, a BIG one. Though I know I wasnt that great in the end still, I think that at least, I have "touched abit of my participants hair", never really made a great impact on them, but I think got a least a tiny bit ((: And hey, time past so fast, I became a Committee, carrying great loads while making sure that participants do not get bored during camp. It wasnt easy, for all roles arent too, to be taking charge of the Program for the camp, I hardly slept bahx, I dint slp for Day 0 yet I could tahan though the day, supports from the whole team was what got me going, yupx.
Ok, so much so of reflections on the camp, I had already written alot in that particular post in May. Hopefully, I can stay in SVC and hopefully SVC programs will be more successful, approaching more people, more people will know us and more people will join and stay with us.
But I think, I am going to let it go for a while, I guess I need to concentrate on my studies le, dont worry, I will still go back if you all want me too, haha.
Well, not going lesson 2moro, Addy not going too anyways, better study at home, I have SO MANY online tutorials and web quizes to complete, I am going to die man, hais. Cant help saying myself stupid, yea right, STUPID.
Gyming 2moro at CCK. Yea! But hais, Vivien cant join because of school, only YoYo and me then, hope I wont bored you to death, lolx. I want to train but I dont want big arms T.T diaox.
Thats all peeps.
Nite nites.
So near yet so far. Hais. This is so... so...